the irony..

wee!! second day of school.. how fun is it to be in school.. but the sense of emptiness in the heart.. ouch.. so painful.. well for those who do not know. here's a brief summary.. last year was a year to remember and cherish i would say or rather, some would call it a year where doors are opened and left open without a beautiful ending.. well you see.. there was this person.. whom i got closer to as the days go by.. spent my time hanging out with this person.. well.. as days go by, it got more fun being around each other.. less time was spent on books... hmm.. not realy less time but i should say MORE sacrifices made.. went to the movies.. eat nachos, ice creams macdonalds, library.. everything felt heavenly despite all the bickering we had.. but.. something happened whch i myself have no clue of.. this person decided to move away from me.. or should i say to push me away.. we started to drift apart.. *two to one back to two* haiz.. it was kinda sad.. all those memories.. all those awlks.. all those talks. just left behind. just in a blink of a eye.. this person wanted to be normal frenz.. well.. schol started but this person starts to kind of avoid me.. shift to another seat in chem lab when we were at close proximity.. is that how frenz are supposed to behave?? ohhh the irony..

however everytime i see this person something just keeps bugging me.. but i will not know if its true.. it would just be a thought left unanswered..

i somehow have this feeling that tis person feels empty too.. just lke the way i do.. this person has difficulty facing each other thus the avoidance.. this person doesnt seem as cheerful as last yr.. as lively as last yr anymore..

Questions I ponder over
Stuck inside my mind
Paranoia of rover
Everything's intertwined
Though I may have to doubt
I've had had enough of strife
I don't know what's a must
But these memories and thoughts
I'll combust
For only pain they've brought
For only hurt they've sought
Yet how could I
Even try
To get rid of the past
This memories aside I cast?
Questions I ponder over
Stuck inside my head
Paranoia of rover
I'll wait for the past to fade



THANK YOU oh so much. I guess I really know who my real friends are.. Thank you.


I guess I think too much. With all my workload on me, I'm actually glad to know that I'm stressed. It means I'm alive and going through life. But with me, as feeble and a paper wall, having back covers like brick walls called friends and the cement called family, I'm still standing and supporting the lifeforce named Farhana. WHOA.

I've carved out so much time from my school and activities to spend some time with my family and friends. I don't give a care about others who can't seem to even talk to me what more speak to me. IGNORE me, Im sad that you act as though my existance is mere invisiblility. For REAL FRIENDS who have yet to desert me, you guys really are people I'm really glad to have known. Especially some extremely wonderful friends who have helped me so much these few days in which I'm struggling with all my responsibilities and MAJOR decision makings. Thank you for all who care. I love you guys.

THANK YOU
For all the support, I really needed them and my heartstrings are pulled by all the things everyone out there who has helped me and still is. My deepest grattitude. I know it'll never do justice to just say thank you, but I hope it will be enough.


to everyone, especially my best buddies
THANK YOU


To Serve With Pride and Dedication

That's the motto. But... There's always more than meets the eye. The conflicts and disputes that go unrest behind closed doors, its scary.
Politics.

How do wars begin? A small talk, turns into a misunderstanding as the both parties get the concept all mixed up. Then a some further aggravation rocks the whole situation, and everything goes downhill.

Like all wars, everyone wants to win. Yet, have anyone given a thought about it? It's not who wins or loses, it's who survives ultimately. But getting on each other's throats causes more stir in the storm, not only that, have the thought of other civilians getting affected ever haunt them? The hurlyburly of war. Terrifying, nevertheless, it's what's happening. Not just the larger scaled wars between countries, there's the wars between 2 organizations, the wars in an organization itself and the wars between 2 people.

Somehow or rather, its everything to do with power and authority. Where is the little love? Can't everyone just give and take? A post is merely a post, a position is nothing more than a position. Are all these materials so important that it fogs up the real importance of love? Love, in a form of friendship and respect. Is it all lost just because no one can see its beauty? It takes so much to meet, know, accept, understand, learn and appreciate someone, forming a bond we know as friendship. Yet, a miniscule problem, seems so destructive. Is friendship that fragile? I wonder.

This has given me an insight of the horrors of the skeletons locked up in the closet. A little glimpse, I can tell, its going to overflow the entire planet. On the other hand, I'm mentally prepared. I don't want power or authority. Though it's cool to have some. But I'm not sure I can handle it. I mean the urge to abuse the honors given, scary thoughts. I'm not evil, no one is born evil. It is created. I believe that the surge of power triggers the EVIL BUTTON in people. Yet, who doesn't hunger for a little power, authority and respect? My main goal in life is for happiness to never cease. I may be unhappy, but as long as there's no grudges and everyone else is happy, I'm willing to forgo a little.

This may all seem small talk, but it's the truth. Go ahead..Doubt me? Who cares what I think? I'm simply younger and I don't understand all these "grown up" stuff.

I'm really sorry if I've offended anyone. I tend to be very frank, I wonder why. This is not to make "YOU GUYS" feel uncomfortable, it's to make you guys see that there are more things than winning the "war". I not a person to see a crisis happen right under my nose, and not do anything about it. Forgive me for intruding. I have nothing else to say but, please THINK. Wasn't it better before all these happened? I never liked change, but it happens.

Once again, I apologize with upmost sincerity, I never meant any harm. I love you guys, and I don't like to see the people I love, respect and admire go ballistic over nothing at all. I'm very sorry.

okies.. got to go now.. cant be writing too much.. MUGGING STARTS TODAY!!! i cant wait!! *farhana's all excited about mugging* hehe..