important person to talk about

important thing to talk about. One is to a specific person. You would know if it's you. That's for sure. Just read on. I hope it can get to the people who I'm referring to. Somebody help me? :)

~~~~~~~~~~

Suddenly it all seemed so clear. Once again, I was misunderstood, as much as I misunderstood. I just hate it when it happens. Why did it have to happen again? Somehow, I don't seem to apt with my words. How come my words twist by itself and provide an entirely different meaning? I am so lost.

But now, I guess its clearer than ever. I finally realised, I hope. There wasn't much of a 'chance' given to me at all. It didn't matter to you at all, as how you put it to others. You didn't even bother. There was nothing to bother about, as how you once told me.

Ouch.

Somehow, you seem to think I'm like any other. It's not your physical presence that I want. No. I don't need that. Your mental image is more than enough to do anything to me. I just wanted to clear up something, to uncover what is hidden, but I ended up making the picture blurrer than ever. It's like wanting to pour water over something to clean it, but ending up just dissolving the thing.

Yes. I am 'too much' and still 'want more' at times. But I can't help it, can I? I'm human. Although I do have to resist temptations at times, sometimes I can't help but give in to my heart. It's not that I want or don't want to. Maybe I'm just too weak inside to control myself.

Whatever that I can change, I have tried my best to change. And I'm still trying. I'm trying very hard, putting in a lot of effort. Partly because of you, but even more so because of myself. Either way, I have you in interest. But then there's no point, since you don't see the same direction as I do.

Haiz... ... Now I don't know what to do... Really...

I guess I've lifted my spirits too high that day. Much too high. Now they are plunging all the way into the ground. Tomorrow, it will hit the ground. It will hit hard, very hard. Only you can stop them. Yes, only you. Although I have doubts that you even bother. But I can only wait and see.

And when I drop, I have to climb back up. Yes. That's life. Going all the way down and coming back up again. Maybe you're going to help me, but as I've said, maybe you won't even bother. But for now, all I can do is prepare. Prepare for the worst.

I haven't seen the worst, I'm pretty sure about that. Drop me the bombshell tomorrow. Kill me off tomorrow. I want to survive this challenge.

I will. I must. I shall not give in.