i miss the times we had..

No matter how many times I deny it time & time again, it still turns out this way. Yeah, and didn't know why I felt the pain every night; now and then. Sometimes I even wonder, why am I still crying for? Sometimes I do feel like a hypocrite. I told people to move on with their lives while at times, I completely still back at square one. Well, Its hard. But after a few dayss, that feeling will slowly come back then subsides and it goes on like a vicious cycle (I prefer to recognise as it is). it all happens over and over again.. but i just need u here... did u really meant what you said in maths class the other day.. haiz.. am i really like that? as days pass, i just miss the times we had.. i wish that in class sometimes i was there right beside you like how we used to be before.. sometimes in class i just wished that i could sneak up behind you and sit next to you.. im not sure if these things could ever happen again.. life seems alot better for you now.. i hope things would just change and someone would just wake me up from this terrible nightmare.. i never wanna fight with you again.. haiz.. i wish..

Stop and stare,
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared.
But I've become what I can't be, oh...

Stop and stare,
You start to wonder why you're here not there.
And you'd give anything to get what's fair,
But fair ain't what you really need.
Oh, you don't need...

So what do I really aim in life? What do I aim to achieve? What are currently my needs now? To juggle commitments and studies all together is in fact, an uphill task. But, does anyone tends to understand at the moment?

Only someone seems to. The One whom I've always have faith and believe in. He's the reason why I'm still surviving. If not, I'd just give up by now.

And I still need your guidance in this, cause I might look strong outside but I definitely am weak deep inside. And only you, only You, The One Above, knows it all; what I've been going through all these while..

Some people cry. some people don't cry. i think it has to do with the emotional being of each individual person. its like sad country music songs. these songs tend to reach our emotions better than other forms of music. emotions can be devastating to some people. they cry at the drop of a hat. same applies to crying when our feelings are hurt. its like the person who has no other choices in life, in a given situation. its to cry to show emotion and to relieve true inside feelings. it may just be a relief valve. crying serves several purposes. relieving anxiety, relieving frustration, and an outward appearance that has very strong psychological effects on everyone surrounding the crier. we, as humans, all have feelings. some people control their feelings better than others. no one likes to get their feelings hurt. thank goodness we have the ability to cry. nothing helps like a good cry. its like washing the soul.